I am thinking about what happend last Monday. Which man walks down the street on a weekday dressed as a girl without sexual intentions, but acting like a normal girl? Not to pull attention from people, but to be in stealth. Without fear?
A man doesn't do this without a reason. Think of all the shame when someone will find out.
During my day out I kept asking myself: "What do I feel right now?" Actually nothing. Just happy, nothing special.
I wasn't dressed like a fetish crossdresser. Neither uber-femme. No skirt, no dress, no floral shirt. Just jeans, plain t-shirt and a cardigan vest. With a small shoulder bag and a backpack I looked like an average student girl.
Now I am starting to understand. I know who I am. Now I know 100% sure I AM a transsexual. What other reason do I have to do this? The magnitude of Genderdysphoria is forcing me to do this, despite the fear and shame.
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Dearest Calista,
I know these are very important thoughts and issues you are facing. I can see that you are desperate to know the way forward and how you can express yourself fully as a woman.
I also know that your life is complex and there are perhaps people that you don't want to hurt. I'm not sure of all the answers but please know that I am thinking of you and hoping that you find a way for that beautiful creature inside of you to be really free :o)
Sophie
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